My Dad

First, I’d like to thank everyone for their support during not only the last few days, but throughout all the medical issues my Dad has had over the years. One of my favorite quotes is “Friends are the family that we get to choose”. This is the way I know that my Dad felt about so many people. For fear of leaving anyone out, I won’t even begin to try to start listing names.

I do want to say thank you specifically to Susan and Patrick. I won’t go too deep into things, but Susan played so many roles for my Dad. She took on so much more than someone in her position normally would, and has become a sister to me, and I know like a daughter to my Dad.

The last couple of years, Patrick so selflessly was as good of a friend as my Dad could have had. He played taxi, food delivery driver, barber, confidant, personal assistant, banker, and even nurse (which I won’t elaborate too much on). He spent countless hours with my Dad, either at the house, or making the drive back and forth to San Antonio to check in on him. He tied up loose ends, and just went above and beyond.

My thoughts on this service were to keep it as light and as funny as possible. My Dad would have turned his nose up at the thought of a funeral, or a memorial service. He never had any desire to be the center of attention, a BBQ, or a fishing trip would have been much more suitable.

My Dad used to always tell me two things regularly. First off, “do as I say, not as I do”, and also “learn from my mistakes, there’s no reason for both of us to make them”. Those things have echoed in my head throughout my life. In the last few days though, I’ve thought about other important life lessons he taught me:

Don’t put a hat on the bed…You just don’t do it.

Hand back a pocket knife as it was handed to you.

When driving, always expect the other person to do something stupid.

Cut a brisket against the grain…Learned that one the hard way.

You can worry a fire out…Evidently I did this at BBQ competitions quite regularly.

Keep your rod tip up when trying to land a redfish.

The designated hitter isn’t real baseball…Although I think he changed his tune on that in the past few years. After that game last night, I know he would have been so happy.

There really are too many things to list, but I think that the most important things that he taught me were patience and unconditional love. In my job I deal with over 1,000 middle school kids every day. If he hadn’t taught me that patience and unconditional love, I don’t think there’s any way I’d be prepared to walk into work every morning. Each day is a new day, and no matter what I’m here for you.

Throughout my life, and his, our relationship changed to not only have a father/son bond, but also as friends. I feel like I’m lucky to have been able to say that my Dad was my best friend. The thing I appreciated the most was that he was always there to advise, and that may be the thing I’ll miss the most about him. No matter how small, or how big of a problem I thought I had, after talking to him, it was never as bad as I thought it was.

I don’t know who created the measuring stick of fatherhood, but I’d like to think that my Dad stood shoulder to shoulder with the best of them. A small example, and one that I like to share with my current athletes and the coaches that I work with now is that in all my sports growing up my Dad missed one game.  One game! That was a basketball tournament game on a Thursday morning at 9:30 AM in Hondo. He made the 12:30 game the same day. He’d always have Granny, most of the time Susan, and whichever of my other friends loaded up and they’d make the trip wherever the game was to see us play.

Granny always called my Dad by the nickname “Bud”. I guess nicknames stuck with him after that. I started calling him “Pedro” for some reason at a baseball game when I was about 12. In Costa Rica, he went by Don Pedro. Many of you others here also knew him as “El Jefe”. He had that monogramed on his BBQ shirts. There was never any doubt at a BBQ competition who “El Jefe” was. He also loved giving nicknames. Looking around the room today, I’m sure there are quite a few who he never even called by your first name, just that nickname. Day 1 he started me with the nickname Sancho, it has stuck. There’s also The Pink Flash, GoreBob, Good God Gerdy, Mommy Dearest, Bato, Patricio, Scottie, Honey, PreeNO, Tio Bobby, Cuz, Gravedigger, Possum, Alabama, Brother in Law, Sister in Law, Stringbean, Porky, Memo, D.K., A.P., A.B., B.B,   J.J. (Jeremy the Jerk), Spank, Heavy C, and Carlito. There were also a few that I probably can’t mention. I think his nicknames were about the most obvious indication that you were special to him.

One of the many conversations I’ve had since last Thursday that stuck out to me was with Justin Hawkins. He said something that I hadn’t been able to put together myself…He said that when my Dad decided to move down to Costa Rica, most of us all wondered what he was thinking. Why would you pick up everything and just move to a 3^rd world country? The timing wasn’t great. He had the health concerns, his finances weren’t as solid as they should have been, and he didn’t know a soul down there. Justin told me, “As long as I’ve known Gordo, he wanted to live somewhere that was warm, somewhere where he could speak Spanish, somewhere where he could fish, and somewhere where there were beautiful Latin women”. In retrospect, he got everything that he wanted! Those almost 3 years he lived down there were probably the happiest of his life. I hope all of us get to live out our dreams like he did during those times.

I’ve heard so many stories in the past week about my Dad that I hadn’t before. It warms my heart knowing that he had an impact on so many others. Thank you all for being here. If our friends really are the family that we get to choose, I know my Dad had the best family ever.