That time again...For the last time...Let's hope...
Well, I've totally managed to throw my life into a never ending cycle of school-camp-school-camp-school. I'd actually done semi-well until this summer when I got my numbers mixed up and wasn't able to go back to college to take the last course I need to graduate. I'm not at all complaining about the camp part of that cycle. I truly love camp and everything about it. I am just frustrated with the whole school thing. Of course I feel that a degree is important, and I'll be totally happy when I earn mine. I just hope that it actually equals something. I hope there is a job out there for someone like me. My ideal job? Well I'd love to run camp, but I can't make enough money there, and more importantly I need to get the heck out of the Kerrville/Ingram area.
Seeing as how my job experience is limited to camp for 6+ years of my life and that one summer of cutting fence lines in south Texas, I'm not exactly qualified for many things. This scares me... I do have enough confidence to know that whatever I find, I'll be dang good at. I learn quick, and strive to move my way up. It doesn't really matter what job I have, if I turn out to be a drug dealer I want to be the best drug dealer ever. There's no way I'm going to be a drug dealer, just the first example that popped into my head. Something that I've thought about a lot lately, is maybe getting out of the states for a while. I'd love to go down to Mexico and learn Spanish. That would be great. I dream of being completely fluent in another language, and if I had to choose one, it would be Spanish. I'm not too terribly bad at it right now, well I could get around down there if I needed to, but I wouldn't call myself anything close to fluent. I can say what I need to say, probably not always grammatically correct, but people get the gist of it. (Mexico by James Taylor just popped up on my Ipod...A sign maybe???) I figured I'd lose my Spanish motivation when I lost my Spanish connection, however its as strong now as ever. Of course I hope that my Spanish connection comes back, but for now I'm not putting my money on that one.
Well getting back to what I started on, tomorrow I make the long trek to Lubbock. I'm going back for this schedule: Tuesdays--12-1:15; 6-9. Thursdays--12-1:15. Now does that leave me with a little free time or what? I wish I had a lot more money, I do some serious exploring in the heartland. I've always wanted to get out and see that part of the country. I guess I'll have to settle for finding some sort of job, and work enough hours to support my free spending habits. Another frustrating thing for me, I always seem to spend money in bunches. The only time I have good money management is when I have none. You can't spend 0 dollars on anything, so I don't.
So for the next 3 and a half months of my life, I'll be in Lubbock, taking 6 hours of class, and feeling sorry for myself. What I could really do, and what I want to do with it, is turn it into a positive experience. (Yes I'm the annoying guy who finds the positive in everything.) How many people get a time like this to really straighten things out in their lives. It gives me 4 months to figure out my next step. It gives me 4 months to find the right things to say. It gives me 4 months to really just find myself. I think that last part is the most important for me. I've been pretty much weaned off of the parental teat, voluntarily though. I'm sure if I needed anything, I could ask, but I want this independence. I need this independence, and my Dad really deserves to be able to spend his money on him and not me. This is the first time I'll pay for my own tuition. I'll be making all my own payments (as little as they are). It's all on me though, and I welcome the challenge.
I had an interesting conversation a couple of weeks ago in Marble Falls with a very good friend of mine about where we are now, and where we'd always pictured ourselves at this age. What I told her is that I picture myself 2 years behind where I should be, and where I want to be. I never intend to grow up too fast, I want to keep my youth, but I hope in the next year of my life, I'm able to get caught up. I'm not saying I want to be married, and have kids. What I'm saying is I'd like to not have as many questions. I want the big questions flowing around in my head right now to be answered, and only be worrying about "what's going to happen next?", and not so much about "do I have everything taken care of now?". I know I can't answer every question I have, if I could I'd be friggin' brilliant and would already have finished college and be on my way to the top of the country. Dang I'd make a good president...
I realize without even going back and reading what I've typed so far, that I don't sound too excited about heading back to Lubbock. I'm not, but I am happy that I've got a good contingency of friends up there. They always make the transition better. So here's to the next three months, may it go by quick, but not too quick where nothing gets accomplished!
Seeing as how my job experience is limited to camp for 6+ years of my life and that one summer of cutting fence lines in south Texas, I'm not exactly qualified for many things. This scares me... I do have enough confidence to know that whatever I find, I'll be dang good at. I learn quick, and strive to move my way up. It doesn't really matter what job I have, if I turn out to be a drug dealer I want to be the best drug dealer ever. There's no way I'm going to be a drug dealer, just the first example that popped into my head. Something that I've thought about a lot lately, is maybe getting out of the states for a while. I'd love to go down to Mexico and learn Spanish. That would be great. I dream of being completely fluent in another language, and if I had to choose one, it would be Spanish. I'm not too terribly bad at it right now, well I could get around down there if I needed to, but I wouldn't call myself anything close to fluent. I can say what I need to say, probably not always grammatically correct, but people get the gist of it. (Mexico by James Taylor just popped up on my Ipod...A sign maybe???) I figured I'd lose my Spanish motivation when I lost my Spanish connection, however its as strong now as ever. Of course I hope that my Spanish connection comes back, but for now I'm not putting my money on that one.
Well getting back to what I started on, tomorrow I make the long trek to Lubbock. I'm going back for this schedule: Tuesdays--12-1:15; 6-9. Thursdays--12-1:15. Now does that leave me with a little free time or what? I wish I had a lot more money, I do some serious exploring in the heartland. I've always wanted to get out and see that part of the country. I guess I'll have to settle for finding some sort of job, and work enough hours to support my free spending habits. Another frustrating thing for me, I always seem to spend money in bunches. The only time I have good money management is when I have none. You can't spend 0 dollars on anything, so I don't.
So for the next 3 and a half months of my life, I'll be in Lubbock, taking 6 hours of class, and feeling sorry for myself. What I could really do, and what I want to do with it, is turn it into a positive experience. (Yes I'm the annoying guy who finds the positive in everything.) How many people get a time like this to really straighten things out in their lives. It gives me 4 months to figure out my next step. It gives me 4 months to find the right things to say. It gives me 4 months to really just find myself. I think that last part is the most important for me. I've been pretty much weaned off of the parental teat, voluntarily though. I'm sure if I needed anything, I could ask, but I want this independence. I need this independence, and my Dad really deserves to be able to spend his money on him and not me. This is the first time I'll pay for my own tuition. I'll be making all my own payments (as little as they are). It's all on me though, and I welcome the challenge.
I had an interesting conversation a couple of weeks ago in Marble Falls with a very good friend of mine about where we are now, and where we'd always pictured ourselves at this age. What I told her is that I picture myself 2 years behind where I should be, and where I want to be. I never intend to grow up too fast, I want to keep my youth, but I hope in the next year of my life, I'm able to get caught up. I'm not saying I want to be married, and have kids. What I'm saying is I'd like to not have as many questions. I want the big questions flowing around in my head right now to be answered, and only be worrying about "what's going to happen next?", and not so much about "do I have everything taken care of now?". I know I can't answer every question I have, if I could I'd be friggin' brilliant and would already have finished college and be on my way to the top of the country. Dang I'd make a good president...
I realize without even going back and reading what I've typed so far, that I don't sound too excited about heading back to Lubbock. I'm not, but I am happy that I've got a good contingency of friends up there. They always make the transition better. So here's to the next three months, may it go by quick, but not too quick where nothing gets accomplished!
posted by Sancho at 8:48 PM
1 Comments:
Sancho...good luck with the next 4 months. You will do great and it will be a wonderful time for you to think about everything in your life. I'll be up to visit for a weekend or two...anytime you want to go somewhere on the weekends and don't want to go alone call me...I am always bored here! I miss ya already! Your blog brought tears to my eyes b/c it reminded me of our talk, the fun weekend and then Brandon's accident... I just keep telling myself "Everything happens for a reason." I love you and will talk to you soon.
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