Sleepless Nights

It seems that since Camp finished, I haven't been able to sleep through the entire night. I'll be tired while I'm up and at it. I'll be yawning all day, or ready to go to bed at around 8 or so. Then when I lay down at 10 or 11, I sit there and stare at the ceiling. There are so many things rushing through my mind right now that I don't know what to think. Life, Love and the pursuit of happiness. Something like that. I look at my life right now and realize I'm a good 2 years behind where I want or need to be. When I look at some of my other friends, I really want what they have. They are already living in big cities, have great jobs, and are well on their way to cutting a slice of the American Dream. All I have is my thoughts, and what I want to do, without much of an idea of how I'm going to get there. I thought I had it figured out there for a while. I knew I was behind schedule, but I had part of my future planned out. All of that just evaporated in front of me. I should have done way more to stop it from happening, but I was too proud to suck it up and realize that my pride should have taken a backseat to love. I always think about what I should have done, or what I should have said. All that leaves me with now, is what might have been.

I realize it seems like I'm completely depressed right now. I'm not though, I am terribly heartbroken, but think what happened may have been temporarily for the better. All I know is that when I have these sleepless nights, she's on my head 99% of the time. I'd like to think that I've learned my lesson. Only time will tell, I hope so though.