Sleepless Nights
It seems that since Camp finished, I haven't been able to sleep through the entire night. I'll be tired while I'm up and at it. I'll be yawning all day, or ready to go to bed at around 8 or so. Then when I lay down at 10 or 11, I sit there and stare at the ceiling. There are so many things rushing through my mind right now that I don't know what to think. Life, Love and the pursuit of happiness. Something like that. I look at my life right now and realize I'm a good 2 years behind where I want or need to be. When I look at some of my other friends, I really want what they have. They are already living in big cities, have great jobs, and are well on their way to cutting a slice of the American Dream. All I have is my thoughts, and what I want to do, without much of an idea of how I'm going to get there. I thought I had it figured out there for a while. I knew I was behind schedule, but I had part of my future planned out. All of that just evaporated in front of me. I should have done way more to stop it from happening, but I was too proud to suck it up and realize that my pride should have taken a backseat to love. I always think about what I should have done, or what I should have said. All that leaves me with now, is what might have been.
I realize it seems like I'm completely depressed right now. I'm not though, I am terribly heartbroken, but think what happened may have been temporarily for the better. All I know is that when I have these sleepless nights, she's on my head 99% of the time. I'd like to think that I've learned my lesson. Only time will tell, I hope so though.
I realize it seems like I'm completely depressed right now. I'm not though, I am terribly heartbroken, but think what happened may have been temporarily for the better. All I know is that when I have these sleepless nights, she's on my head 99% of the time. I'd like to think that I've learned my lesson. Only time will tell, I hope so though.
1 Comments:
I am totally with ya on those sleepless nights. You can't go back in time so you got to make the best of each and every day! So great to hang out with you this weekend. Don't forget that you are an amazing guy and that I love ya!
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