What I Meant to Say
I've decided that if I ever end up being a total recluse, and the only communication I ever have with the outside world is by computer and internet, that's fine with me.
Not really, that's sarcasm, but the last few days I've had several cases of the "blah". I don't really know how else to explain it. Its when you open your mouth and the words don't come out too easily, or as you expected. I'm the kind of person who likes to think about what I say, and not do too much of the instantaneous stuff. Even lately though, when I've thought about things, they haven't necessarily come out as planned.
Last Saturday we were having a barbecue at our house, that ended up being a get together that lasted 'till early in the morning. Needing to get up early Sunday morning, I didn't drink anything, I just kind of sit around and watched people imbibe themselves. At around 11, the drinks ran out, and the party wasn't over, so I volunteered to go out to the strip and get another 30. I wasn't really doing anything else, so why not? Well I get up to the drive through line (what convenience) and open my mouth to ask for a 30 of 'Stones. What came out was quite different though, I can't begin to explain it. Let's just say that the guy said 'huh' and I had to try again. I'm sure he thought I was hammered, when I hadn't had a drop. Oh well. I'm not really embarrassed by that, but sheesh, I've been talking since I was like 2 or something, I figured I'd have it down by now.
Then today, I went to talk to a teacher. The whole way there, I practiced what I was going to say, and how I would respond to anything he might ask. All truths, not even making anything up. So I don't know why I needed to plan it out so much. Well I get there and it's a total different case. Nothing I planned on saying came out, and it was more of a get in, get out thing. Quick and painless. I didn't talk about anything I needed to say, it was more like one question, okay see you later.
I guess I just get nervous. That's one of the reasons I always script things out in my head. Maybe I should start writing scripts for movies with the stuff that flows through my mind. Then again, how entertaining would my life be? Well, regardless, of all the great things I plan on saying, I would guess about 20% of it actually comes out.
I could come up with about 1000 more instances that involve the opposite sex, but I won't embarrass myself on here!
You could call it some type of social anxiety, which it well might be, but I prefer to refer to it as "blah". I don't know if anyone else has the problem, but it's an everyday thing for me. Luckily no one knows what's going on in my head (even sometimes myself), so they don't know the things that I meant to say.
If I could carry around the keyboard with me wherever I go, I think I could do much better. The backspace and delete buttons are special gifts. If I could just get one for my mouth.
Have a good one...
Not really, that's sarcasm, but the last few days I've had several cases of the "blah". I don't really know how else to explain it. Its when you open your mouth and the words don't come out too easily, or as you expected. I'm the kind of person who likes to think about what I say, and not do too much of the instantaneous stuff. Even lately though, when I've thought about things, they haven't necessarily come out as planned.
Last Saturday we were having a barbecue at our house, that ended up being a get together that lasted 'till early in the morning. Needing to get up early Sunday morning, I didn't drink anything, I just kind of sit around and watched people imbibe themselves. At around 11, the drinks ran out, and the party wasn't over, so I volunteered to go out to the strip and get another 30. I wasn't really doing anything else, so why not? Well I get up to the drive through line (what convenience) and open my mouth to ask for a 30 of 'Stones. What came out was quite different though, I can't begin to explain it. Let's just say that the guy said 'huh' and I had to try again. I'm sure he thought I was hammered, when I hadn't had a drop. Oh well. I'm not really embarrassed by that, but sheesh, I've been talking since I was like 2 or something, I figured I'd have it down by now.
Then today, I went to talk to a teacher. The whole way there, I practiced what I was going to say, and how I would respond to anything he might ask. All truths, not even making anything up. So I don't know why I needed to plan it out so much. Well I get there and it's a total different case. Nothing I planned on saying came out, and it was more of a get in, get out thing. Quick and painless. I didn't talk about anything I needed to say, it was more like one question, okay see you later.
I guess I just get nervous. That's one of the reasons I always script things out in my head. Maybe I should start writing scripts for movies with the stuff that flows through my mind. Then again, how entertaining would my life be? Well, regardless, of all the great things I plan on saying, I would guess about 20% of it actually comes out.
I could come up with about 1000 more instances that involve the opposite sex, but I won't embarrass myself on here!
You could call it some type of social anxiety, which it well might be, but I prefer to refer to it as "blah". I don't know if anyone else has the problem, but it's an everyday thing for me. Luckily no one knows what's going on in my head (even sometimes myself), so they don't know the things that I meant to say.
If I could carry around the keyboard with me wherever I go, I think I could do much better. The backspace and delete buttons are special gifts. If I could just get one for my mouth.
Have a good one...
posted by Sancho at 6:11 PM
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